Fearproof Your Politics

Voting is one of the most important and cherished privileges we have as citizens. It is an expression of our free will to choose our leaders from the president to the local school board. When we cast our vote, we want our vote to be thoughtful, well-informed and to use our best instincts in making this important choice.

In an era of unprecedented political advertising to secure our votes, marketing experts know that people's choices are quite easily manipulated through a variety of clever ads, many of which use the ultimate weapon of persuasion--FEAR.

Fear is our most basic emotion of survival and when we are confused, in doubt and vulnerable, fear usually wins over reason, values and what appears to be our free will. Images of the Twin Towers collapsing on 9/11; the red phone ringing at 3:00 AM with "bad news" tied to our children's safety; pictures of terrorists being trained by Osama Bin Laden; an atomic bomb mushroom cloud--all instantly trigger a strong visceral response of fear. When fear is triggered, common sense, reason and wisdom are trumped by emotion. We seem to go unconscious when we are afraid and become susceptible to our own prejudices and belief systems as well as those of others.

To get around election rules and to be able to place the most fear evoking ads at arm's length from the candidate, "Swift boat style" ads have been funded by special interest groups outside the parameters of restrictions. This year will be no exception and groups will use the most blood curdling images and any means necessary to sway our votes through emotion in order for their candidate to win.

There are many real fears in this world that we want our leaders to address, but how do we tell when we are being informed of the best choices vs. manipulated to go against our best instincts and common sense? How do we immunize ourselves from the highly advanced advertising science of psychological manipulation so that we know in our hearts and minds that our vote is actually our vote and not the result of the primitive amygdaula stem of our brain overriding our reason and our hearts with fear?

How do we fearproof our politics and neutralize the fear tactics of all advertisers but especially the political ads in this important year of presidential politics? How do we sort through not only the fear charged ads but the highly opinionated, biased media of the right and left and find common sense again and not be duped by lies, distortions and exaggerations to win our votes.

In my book, Fearproof Your Life, I outline many suggestions for how to live a life not dominated by fear in a world that has become addicted to it. Below I will list a few of the ways in which we can develop an antidote to this fear mongering that has taken over the political process.

How to Immunize Ourselves from Fear Tactics

1. Know and Trust Your Self
2. Know the Difference between Fear as Information vs. Fear as False Evidence Appearing Real
3. Listen Deeply
4. Trust in the Power of Reflection

Know and Trust Your Self

When we are grounded in our true Selves we have a natural immunity to the world and its negative influences. We are able to be less reactive to others, to events and to circumstances that are out of our control. It is only when we identify with our ego thoughts that we go unconscious and react in a predictable and self-destructive manner. Knowing the difference between when we are grounded in our Being vs. our ego self, is perhaps the ultimate protection from the fear tactics of advertisers and politicians.

How do we know when we are in our true Self or our ego? In our true Self consciousness, we see life with more objectivity, compassion, understanding and non-judgmentalness. We also see it more truthfully rather than through the filter of our own past, our conditioning and our beliefs systems. When we are in touch with our true Self, we may still have our habitual reactions but we can observe them from a state of self awareness that frees us from reacting to our habitual thoughts and perceptions. The result is a feeling of deep inner peace and calm. This is often referred to as "being in the world but not of it."


Know the Difference Between Fear as Information and Fear as False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.)

Fear is built into all living creatures as a mechanism for survival. It is called the "fight and flight response" that leads to a heightened state of alertness, energy, strength and focus. In animals this response protects them from attack and is called instinct, which allows them to sense when danger is near and to either flee or fight.

Humans have this same fear response built into our brains and our psyches but unfortunately, we also have the ability to create this response with our imagination--thought. As a matter of fact, most of our fears are false evidences appearing real, but our bodies respond to false fear in the exact same way as to real fear. So how do we tell the difference?

As I said earlier, when we are afraid, we often go unconscious, and operate on auto pilot. Fear is like an alarm clock that is there to wake us up, so that we can decide if the fear is "real" or imagined. That moment of awareness connects us to a more objective consciousness also known as reflection. When we understand this concept we are able to be awakened by fear and then go into a state of awareness where we have the power of discernment. 

While watching political ads or the news this is an extremely important skill to have to immunize ourselves from fear tactics. If we are connected to our true Self and in a state of awareness, we are connected to our wisdom--the ability to see past manipulation, logic and clever persuasion. Fear is a built-in guidance system to let us know when our ego has been hooked and to come back to our more intelligent inner true Self.


Listen Deeply


Deep listening is very different than you might expect. Deep listening is not listening to the content of what is being said. It is listening below the level of content to where the content is coming from. When someone is engaged in deep listening their mind is quiet and in a state of "still receptivity." In this state they are able to respectfully connect with the other person, be completely present, yet remain objective and true to themselves.

 Deep listening is analogous the way we listen to music. When we are deeply listening to the music, we are moved and affected because our intellect in not fully engaged, analyzing each note. We are just being impacted in a way that allows us to "take in the music"  fully and completely.

In the same way, when we listen deeply to the news or an ad, we are able to hear beyond the words and the content of the ad and sense intuitively where the ad or speech is coming from. Is the person being authentic or phony? Is the ad or talk coming from a truthful place. When we listen with our hearts rather than just with our intellect, we are able to discern fact from fiction.

Trust in the Power of Reflection

Reflection is the lost art of thinking for yourself. In order to make good, solid, heartfelt decisions when we go into the voting booth, we must learn to think for ourselves--to reflect rather than repeat and react. 

In our culture the intellect is valued as the ultimate route to understanding and knowing. Although our intellect is an extremely valuable tool, just like our computer, it is incapable of reflection and connecting to a deeper more creative intelligence. Reflection and insight is where the computer and all other inventions originated. 

Reflection, on the other hand, is a less valued type of intelligence in our culture, but it is the key to evolution, survival and good decision making. Reflection is what we do after we have taken in information, listened to all the facts, and then quietly let that information connect to a deeper intelligence. Some call this process "putting it on the back burner." It is where insights come to us in the middle of the night, in the shower, or while out for a run--when the intellect is not active. It is the part of our brain that assimilates and transcends the level of the intellect so that we can make heartfelt decisions that are wise. 

Einstein once observed, "mankind cannot solve its problems at the level of thinking that created the problems." He was referring to this type of thinking (reflection) that we are all capable of. 

This morning I was listening to talk radio and heard several guests commenting on the previous night's primary election. So many of their comments were straight out of the mouths of pundits and other media commentators. I could tell that the guests had not reflected on what they were saying because when challenged they got confused or rigid immediately. They weren't sharing their ideas, only rote repetitions of someone else's thoughts and opinions. Too many people are no longer thinking for themselves and instead are mimicking these pundits. 

By following these guidelines and being true to our Selves and our core values, we are expressing our real rights and privileges as voters in the democratic process. If we go unconscious and just react from our primitive brain of fear we will be susceptible to the fear tactics of forces in our society that would like to gain control for their own personal gain and to feed their egos. If we want leaders whose heart is in the right place, we must learn to listen and vote with our heart. 

Live Fearlessly,

Joe

Home is Where the Heart Is

Dear Friends,

It has been quite some time since I have written you a blog. Sorry about that! I have been traveling a lot to promote my book and I just returned from doing a Fly Fishing for the Mind retreat in Chile. As you can see I caught fish but I also caught a lot of beauty and love from the people of Chile and the retreat participants. It was an extraordinary adventure. 

I also recently returned from Los Angeles where I did a number of radio and TV shows as well as a talk to 120 professionals in the addictions field about "Fear: The Common Denominator of All Addictions", which was very well received. 

With all this travel and jet lag I found myself feeling a bit stressed a few days ago. After reflecting on how I could make these transitions smoother since I am having a lot of them these days, I heard the phrase, "Home is where the heart is" ring in my head. We have all heard this saying and seen it embroideried on our mother's walls, but I haven't given much thought to the deeper meaning of this trueism till now. 

As I stood in the line in Balcemeda, Chile at the airport waiting to board the 18 hour flight back home, one of my retreat participants offhandedly said to another traveler, "Well, back to reality." I quipped, "Back to another reality, not the reality."

Later I realized that my statement was only partially true. The deeper truth is that reality is whatever we are creating at this moment. Whenever we become disconnected from our true Self in the present moment, we loose that feeling of being home. When we loose touch with our Self, our heart, we feel disoriented, stressed, and out of sorts. We unknowingly believe that at some point in the future, we will feel settled again, back in balance and relaxed. This is a classic example of the acronym for fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. I knew I didn't want to keep feeling unsettled for a few hours, days or moments. I wanted to feel at home now.

As I heard the truth in that saying, "Home is where the heart is," I felt myself settle down and relax. I still had that pile of mail on my desk, the hundreds of emails to answer or delete, the laundry to do, and the unpacking of my stuff, but I felt a sense of presence and calm while doing all those things. 

Now, four days later, I am packing for another trip tomorrow. Several times this morning I heard that admonition ring in my head again, "Home is where the heart is," and I calmed down, focused and got a few more things packed. When we are living in the present moment, aware that we are creating each moment, we are more likely to live more of the time in our home of the heart...our true Self. 

It's good to be back in touch with you and I hope to keep up with our conversation a little better over the next months. Remember: there's no place like home and its right inside you.

Live fearlessly,

Joe 

A New Year Without Fear

Our most common fear is the fear of the unknown. “Will my children be safe, healthy, and happy?” “Will I keep my job, or find one, or will that rumored buyout really happen?” “Will the terrorists strike again and will the war ever end?” “Will I ever be successful?” “Will I have enough for retirement?” “I wonder if my health will fail this year?”
This list of unknowns never ends and changes every day. These plus many other common and legitimate questions fill our heads much of the time. However, how we face these unknowns determines if they snowball into fear, worry and panic or are cause for reflection, perspective and change. If we live our life from fear, rather than recognizing the true purpose of fear, we will erode the quality of our lives, our decisions and our relationships. When fear rules our lives, we become a prisoner of our own thoughts.
As FDR (Roosevelt) once said, “We have nothing to fear, but fear itself.” And he was facing The Great Depression and WWII. We may think that we face times of even greater change and uncertainty; each generation feels legitimacy to their fears and truly believes this is the scariest of times. Is it the times or is it how we are dealing with the times?
If we let fear control our thoughts we’ll have less peace of mind and physical health, our decisions will be limited and our relationships will suffer. Fear has become an addiction in our culture and the media, pundits, politicians and advertisers all know this and are capitalizing on our culture of fear in order to control our buying and voting habits. Without immunity to this fear mongering, we fall prey to the manipulations of others trying to control our lives.
In my new book, Fearproof Your Life, I show how fear is created; it’s true purpose, and how to live life from a fearless state, thus developing psychological immunity. As a result of living fearlessly, our thinking is clear, wiser, more responsive and less reactive; we access our creative ability and bring more fun into our lives.
Have you ever noticed that most of the things we worry and fret about don’t actually come to pass? When we become trapped in unhealthy fear, we loose perspective and fearful thinking begins to control our lives—our sleep, our health and our daily decisions.
I often talk about fear as an acronym: F.alse E.vidence A.ppearing R.eal. How many times have I worried about a public talk or a difficult conversation with a friend or family member, all for naught? Our habit is to search our memories for similar situations that went badly and project these memories into the unknown of what might happen.
I am not saying that fear doesn’t have a legitimate purpose for our survival. It signals us to address an issue in our lives or in the world. Fear is not there to ruin the quality of our lives—it’s a reminder to reflect, to change and to act in a new way. We can use fear as a tool or as a weapon against ourselves. Once we are aware of this distinction, we have a choice about how we respond to our fears.
Would you like fearlessness, courage and positive actions to fill your New Year and make your life and the lives of others more prosperous, happier and fulfilling? If so keep these principles in mind:

1. F.E.A.R. is a result of our thinking. Emotions, including fear, are a result of how we use our gift of thinking in this moment. Fortunately the sensation of fear and worry can make us aware of our habits of unproductive fearful thinking.
2. Fear is an alarm clock to wake us up and be more conscious. Fear brings us vital information, when we clear our mind and reflect we gain instant perspective and the ability to discern the difference between false evidence appearing real and the need to take action for safety, balance or opportunity.
3. Learn to trust your Self (your instincts, intuition and insights). When we trust ourselves, worry and second-guessing our decisions fall away; we have the courage to act and speak our truth to others and to the world.
4. Don’t be a victim; take responsibility for your life and your experience of it. You are the creator of your thoughts, emotions and thus your experience of life. Use this power to create wisely; let it guide you to success, happiness and empowerment.

Will 2008 become another year of fear or will you face your fearful habits and live the New Year from insight and discernment?
Facing fear will empower you to take risks on your dreams, aspirations and hopes. You will be an instrument of change in your life and the lives of others. Which path will you choose—fear or courage?

FEARPROOF Your Holidays with Presence

Dear Reader,

Have you ever wondered why this supposedly most joyful, loving time of the year is often filled with stress, worry, overwhelm, and family tension? Do you find yourself dreading the holidays, wishing for the simplicity of a less complicated and materialistic world? If so, you are not alone and may be in the majority of fellow humankind at this frenzied time of the year.

What if you could go through this holiday season with a feeling of genuine gratitude, generosity, kindness, and love for others? What if instead of stress and hurry, you felt calm and present with each person, each moment, each special meal, shopping purchase, and were truly moved by the spirit of the season?

If this sounds unrealistic and naive, but, tickles your curiosity, read on.

My favorite movie that gets me into the holiday spirit is "It's A Wonderful Life" starring Jimmy Stewart. George Bailey (no relation) is stressed out at the holiday like so many of us. He has a wonderful wife and family, has lived a very fulfilling life, but in the midst of his life circumstances that are tragic, he looses touch with how wonderful his life actually is and instead gets caught up in his thoughts of fear, failure, insecurity and contemplates suicide. Just as he is going to jump into the freezing waters off a bridge, his guardian angel knows his generous and compassionate nature and jump in first. Caught off guard and returning to his true Self, George jumps in to save Clarence the angel and in so doing stops his own death. As they dry off Clarence grants George's wish and creates a world as if George Bailey never existed. In the end George Bailey realizes he is the luckiest man in the world and that he actually has "a wonderful life."

Nothing changed in George's life except his consciousness. His perspective on his life stopped swimming in the negativity of fear and anger and instead he stopped still in the moment and realized the perfection of the life he already had.

So too for us when we stop the frenzie of our busy minds and pause--we smell the eggnog, see the beauty in our kids and grandkids, focus on what we have and not what we desire that we don't have. All that changes is that our mind clears like George's did and we drop into the reality of the present moment. From there our negative thinking stops spinning out of control and we see life from a wiser and more truthful perspective. When we don't know where to look for happiness and joy at this time of year we try to fill ourselves up with food, drink and "stuff" in the form of presents. We trade presence for presents. Which is more valuable? Which lasts?

Presence is the secret to slowing down the clock of time that keeps ticking away our short lives. When we find the secret of the present, our presence will last forever.

Have a Happy Holiday with you and your loved ones,

Joe

Fearless in Sedona

Dear Readers,

This past weekend fifteen courageous people met for a retreat with me in the beautiful red rock mountains of Sedona, Arizona. The participants ventured from the four corners of the USA and from points in between-- Seattle to Florida, Los Angeles to New York, and in between.

They were drawn by the beauty of Sedona, but more significantly, the common desire to live a fearless life--free to live as their true Selves and courageously pursue their heart's desires in love, work and change on all levels. Fundamentally they came to discover the unique gift of who they are and share that unabashedly with with the world.

Sedona was the perfect place to cultivate this spiritual journey inward. It is filled with breathtaking vistas of inspiring red rock formations. We gathered the first day as strangers and quickly became a very cohesive, trusting and open group of kindred souls united by a common desire to know our true Self and to discover how to live from that true Self rather than the compelling habits of our egos.

We learned first how to listen deeply to ourselves and each other by quieting the thoughts of fear, self-judgment and insecurity. Then we listened to the voice of Truth in the hearts of each of us. We learned to listen to the guidance of our feelings, to take us back to that place in us that knows no fear-- only joy, peace and wisdom.

In the afternoons we ventured away from our retreat facility to a mountaintop outside of town, taking time to hike the trails, reflect and write alone and then return to the group to share our inner discoveries and refine the process of self-discovery.

What people found was that buried in the unknown of our inner Self lies health, love and wisdom. We learned to trust our Selves and to see that living from there is not only possible--it is there whenever we choose to live in the world as our true Self. The result was a lessening of fear and increased courage to Be in this world, but not of it. The level of transformation that occurred amazed me and exceeded any expectations of how close we all are to living fearlessly, not only in a retreat setting, but wherever we live.

For more information on my future retreats go to my news and events calendar on my website.

Live and Love Fearlessly,

Joe

Being In the World, But Not of It

Dear Readers,

This past two weeks has been fun, exciting and full as my book, Fearproof Your Life has been released to the public. Life has been a whirlwind of activity from book signings, talks, TV, radio and print interviews. It has been a blast!

Ironically, in the midst of sharing my book with the world, I have had moments where I felt back in the past and feeling fearful. "How could it be that I was feeling overcome with fear?" I reflected about this and realized that my regression back to the old feelings of fear served a purpose -- to remember how I used to live when I didn't know what I know now, and to feel a deeper compassion for those who live in fear now, as I once did on a daily basis. Understanding the source of fear doesn't mean we aren't still human and loose awareness of our choices from time to time, especially when we are engaged in something new, challenging and unknown to us.

The other big lesson for me is that old adage from scripture: "Being in the World but not Of It." As I go out and share the message of my book, I have met hundreds of people and listened to callers on the radio who resonate with my message. The more I listen, the more I realize how important my message is for the world now. I realized the importance of my deeper discovery of how to be in this world wholeheartedly without taking on the fear of the world.

As the drumbeats of fear get played more each day for yet another war in the Middle East, the fear level is rising. More justification for more violence born of fear. Fear occupies our world and our leaders. Fear occupies our media. Will we let fear occupy our own minds?

Is it possible to be fully engaged in this world but not live at the effect of people lost in the illusion of fear and separation from their true Selves and each other? Is it possible to stay engaged, make a difference and live in peace? I think so. I know so.

But, I totally understand the temptation to become overwhelmed, hopeless and even despairing in the light of current conditions. I fell back into fear myself, but luckily I know how not to take my own misguided thinking seriously. I know how to reconnect with who I truly am and not be swayed by the forces of fear mongering. "We have nothing to fear but fear itself," as FDR once famously said. We get to choose whether to live in fear or not.

I am grateful to be doing what I am doing. I feel one with my true purpose to be sharing my discoveries with you and to watch so many wake up to the possibility of living in this world but not of it.

If you would like to hear some of my interviews from the past weeks or hear some in the future, just go to my web site to the "news" or the "media" sections.

Until next time, Live fearlessly, Love fearlessly,

Joe

Life in Motion

As I sit at my desk in my cabin, I am observing life in motion. The Boundary Waters’ mist of Autumn crept across the lake at dawn, becoming thicker and thicker till I could no longer see the island, fifty yards away. Now it is beginning to lift and I see the faint outline of red pines and rocks on the shore. The daylight is breaking through. Later, it will inevitably lift completely and the island will be fully visible—it is life in motion.

Our lives are no different than the changes in nature—what was once invisible becomes visible and what was solid and real, later vanishes with the passing of time. This can be as large as life and death or as mundane as plans for a weekend changing.

This weekend I was supposed to be doing a retreat for Native American youth at the Grand Portage Reservation with my friend Adam. He called on Monday with “bad news” saying that it would have to be postponed due to his mom’s unexpected heart surgery. He sounded scared and overwhelmed. I offered my time to talk to him about it, which he accepted appreciatively—again, life in motion.

I felt a moment of disappointment as I was looking forward to the retreat and spending time with my friends, but this soon transformed into a feeling of relief and gladness at a freed-up weekend to close down the cabin with my wife. It is the peak of the fall color and we had a glorious trip up the north shore of Lake Superior and the Gunflint Trail to our cabin—life in motion.

When we arrived at the cabin, we saw what we had been warned of---a three-foot rise in the lake in the past month. After a seven-year drought, the rain raising the water level was a welcome. However when we arrived at the cabin we soon saw the destruction that rising water can create—our docks were broken and disconnected from the shoreline, our boats were flooded, and our two kayaks had floated away to some unknown landing place on a 22,000-acre lake—life in motion.

I now see the island in front of me as the fog is beginning to lift.

My wife and I had to land the boat in a very precarious situation but we managed to dock the boat and within a short time had it unloaded and were repairing the dock and reconnecting it to the shore. We then pulled the partially sunken boats on shore and secured them after bailing out the water.

I continued to investigate the surroundings, the wilderness’ silence was interrupted by my wife’s call, “The kayaks have floated away!” At first I thought, “Oh no, not my favorite kayak. I can’t believe they’re gone. I thought I had pulled them up high enough on the shore.” A short period of guilt and embarrassment ensued. However, my feelings quickly passed to acceptance and we directed our energies to taking care of business—life in motion.

The next day we began our search for the wayward kayaks. Our lake is very large and filled with hundreds of islands, inlets, bays and infinite hiding places where they could be. We drove with binoculars in hand searching for our lost friends. Suddenly, one of them appeared several feet above the shore and into the woods, obviously thrown up by the force of wind and waves. It was slightly scratched but overall in remarkably good condition. We were delighted—life in motion.

The island is now clearly in view and the fog is mostly gone. The second kayak is still missing. Will we find it? We don’t know—life in motion.

And so it is with all our lives—life in motion: the unexpected happens, people get sick and die, have surgery, money is made and lost, relationships begin and end, the fog comes and the fog disappears revealing the sun that never really left. Our state of mind, the peace we feel or loose site of, is always there when we accept what is in front of us and see that we have a choice, whether to fight change, to be overcome by disappointment or accept what is and move forward to the next step—life in motion.

Live and love fearlessly, Joe Bailey